What Hurts the Most
by wingless crimson
Summary: [Feat. Tezuka Kunimitsu x Fuji Syusuke] When Tezuka gets a girlfriend, Fuji wonders whether or not he has waited too long.
1. The Last Nameless Dance

**wingless crimson presents**

--

**Title: **What Hurts the Most

**Category:** Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Oujisama (belongs to Konomi)

**Type: **Set Canon time (Sort of)

**Genres: **Romance/Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary: (**Feat. Tezuka Kunimitsu x Fuji Syusuke) When Tezuka gets a girlfriend, Fuji wonders whether or not he has waited too long.

**N.O.T.E.S.**

This is an experimental work of sorts, only because this stupid bunny wouldn't go away. The title is the result of listening to too much Rascal Flatts. If all goes well and writer's block stays far, far away; this should be finished in 4 parts. Hope you all enjoy.

_-wingless (2-11-07) _

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**I**

**The Last Nameless Dance**

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* * *

If Fuji Syusuke had to give this nameless dance a name, he would have called it a tango. So darkly full of meaning, and if you weren't careful, you could easily go a step too far and get burned. He would have used the word sensual…though that word seemed oddly out of place. 

But Tezuka Kunimitsu, walking quietly beside him, Fuji was sure that he would disagree. If Tezuka had to name this dance, Fuji was positive that Tezuka would have christened it a waltz. Ritualistic and proper.

What's more, waltzes had definitive rules, and Tezuka worshipped rules, probably as much as he worshipped tennis.

Though Fuji knew better, and he prided himself in knowing, because this was one thing that Tezuka did not know.

But for all his genius, this would be the last time they danced. And Fuji had not even an inkling, that was the irony of it all.

"…Ne, Tezuka, I got asked out today." Fuji started

"By who?"

Fuji paused to watch the bespectacled boy for any sort of reaction; he detected none, but managed to hide his disappointment. "…A second year in my chemistry class, I don't even know her name. Isn't that funny?" He laughed lightly, "…How many times did you get asked out today, buchou?"

"None." Tezuka's gait became noticeably tighter as he quickened his steps, "What do you mean how many times, anyway? I'm not like you, breaking hearts right and left just with those eyes of yours."

"Saa, I was just teasing, you know. Everyone's probably way too scared to ask you anyhow." Fuji's faint smile grew just a bit, Tezuka was flustered, "You don't have to get all worked up about it." He lengthened his own stride to catch up, "…My eyes break hearts? Like whose? Yours?"

"…Don't be ridiculous." Tezuka didn't look at him. "…Sometimes, I really wonder about you."

Fuji fell silent, it wouldn't be good to go so far so soon, "…But still, it's the middle of senior year, Tezuka. Next year we'll all go our own separate ways to college…and I haven't even gone out on one date yet. It's rather depressing, once you think about it."

"Whose choice would that be?"

Tezuka fixed him with a rather amused glance, though to any other person, the laconic expression never changed. But Fuji made it his business to know. And he reveled in knowing that Tezuka smiled with nothing but his eyes, if one looked hard enough, "Mine, of course." He looked back. "I don't like going on dates, Tezuka."

"I don't understand you." Tezuka shook his head almost despairingly, "You just said you're depressed about _not_ dating."

"…Then you misunderstand me." Fuji returned calmly, expression ever unchanging, "…I don't like going on dates, because most dates don't matter to me." He paused, "…I rather wait, until something worthwhile comes along."

"…You're so impatient." Tezuka admonished calmly. "You know the worthwhile things don't usually come so soon."

"But sometimes they do." Fuji said. "And there's no harm at all in just wishing, is there?"

Tezuka said, "Sometimes, it doesn't happen often, though, you know that. Why do you always have to be so delusional?"

A childish pout adorned Fuji's lips, "You're such a pessimist." He gave the other a playful tap on the arm, "I take it that you don't like anyone in particular, then?"

"I do like someone." Tezuka replied, not looking at him, quickening his steps just a little.

Fuji's jaw just about fell to the ground, "You _do_?" He paused in his footsteps to stare.

"…Not a crime, is it? To like someone." Tezuka's tone was stiff, "You make it sound like a freak of nature."

Fuji shook his head and began walking again, "No, no, it's…nothing like that." He laughed lightly, "I just…didn't think you'd admit to it that easily." He paused, "It's too much to ask you who it is, right?"

"Yes, I'm not going to tell you." Tezuka gave him a sidelong glance that told Fuji absolutely nothing. Which was expected, Tezuka was Tezuka to the end, even on such a sensitive subject. Perhaps even because it was such a sensitive subject…

Undeterred, Fuji pressed on, "Do you like that person a lot?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to do anything about it? Tell the person how you feel, for example? I'm sure the person would be very glad to hear it." Fuji asked, "I mean, who wouldn't? The fact that Tezuka Kunimitsu has a crush means that he is really human."

"I'm not going to do anything." Tezuka said decidedly.

"But why? Are you just going to sit there and not _do_ anything?" Fuji said, feigning shock, "That's not healthy, you know, keeping your feelings to yourself."

"That doesn't matter." Tezuka shrugged one shoulder, "I know for a fact that the person won't take me seriously."

"How do you know that?" Fuji was perfectly sincere. "…You don't know anything until you tell the person. It might end up different than what you'd expect, Tezuka."

Tezuka didn't look too convinced, "…I'll think about it."

Fuji wisely dropped the subject. They resumed the walk home in companionable silence.

It was a tango today, Fuji thought, because he had come one step closer.

* * *

The news of Tezuka Kunimitsu's no longer being single spread through the hallways like a ravaging wildfire, rapidly consuming everything in its path. Fuji hadn't noticed how badly his hands were shaking until his shoelace broke. 

"Hey." He said to the general clubroom, "…Anybody got a spare shoelace? I broke mine."

"Hoi, I've got one!" Kikumaru Eiji came to life and rummaged around in his bag, finally unearthing a shoelace, as promised, "Here ya go! Continue now, Inui! Go on! You were just getting to the good part!"

"…Good part?" Fuji said with an amusing smile as he caught the shoelace, noticing that the borrowed shoelace was yellow and not white, "What are you reading now, Inui? I do hope it's appropriate for school."

"…I do nothing of that sort—or read, for that matter." Inui sounded decidedly miffed, "If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if the said fetish was in your department, Fuji. I'm only 91 percent sure."

"I don't have a fetish of any kind. You, on the other hand, I still wonder." Fuji returned to lacing his shoes, "But you didn't answer me."

"Oh, yes, I didn't…" Inui said, "Well, I'm just telling everyone the _real_ facts about Tezuka's girlfriend. You should never believe what you hear in the hallways, you know. Everything gets so scrambled."

Fuji concentrated hard on his shoe, willing his voice to stay even, "I haven't heard much in the in the hallway, only in chemistry. Isn't he dating the captain of the chess club?"

"Debate club, you mean." Inui gave him a look, "…Where in the world did you hear _chess_ club?"

Fuji sighed, "Don't remember."

"Well, anyway," Inui flipped back a couple of pages, "I'm sure you won't mind backtracking a little bit for Fuji's sake, would you, Kikumaru?"

"Nya, Fuji, I can't believe you didn't hear anything! Practically the whole school knows by now! Where were you, Mars?" Eiji knelt down next to him, and then stopped, "…Hey, you look sick, are you okay?"

"…Yeah, I'm fine." Fuji straightened up, plastering a new smile on his face, "I've always been like this, remember? Well then, Inui, fire away."

"Well, Kazuki Yuya, 3rd year, she attends Seigaku, obviously, and she's the captain of the debate club. Hates chess, incidentally." Inui shot him another glance.

"Right, rub it in my face, why don't you?" Fuji shook his head and slumped down on a bench. "Go on."

"Blood type A, Height 166 cm, favorite foods include chocolate mousse, clam soup, and hobbies include reading, badminton, and linguistics. She speaks Japanese, English, Chinese, and French." Inui turned the page, "Favorite subjects include English and History. Has played the piano for 8 years, and she lives with her mother and older brother. Father has not been heard from for the good part of a decade." He shut the notebook.

Fuji sighed again, "…Accomplished girl. But then, I wouldn't expect any less." He thought about asking Inui how he gathered that much data in just five hours and 26 minutes. He was almost certain that Kazuki Yuya had been a nobody until she gained the title of Tezuka's significant other.

"Well, it's Tezuka we're talking about." Inui shrugged in agreement, "But it surprises me, she shows only 0.4 percent interest in tennis…and yet…"

"It's Tezuka Kunimitsu we're talking about…" Fuji reminded him hollowly. "Girls can just walk past him on the street and swoon. It's been proven."

"Nya, it _has_?? Are you serious?"

Inui was scribbling again, "…A most interesting phenomenon, I must say. But not entirely unexpected for someone of Tezuka's stature."

"Inui, Kikumaru, Fuji! 30 laps around the courts now!" Tezuka said from the entrance of the clubroom, arms crossed. "What are the three of you doing? Practice started fifteen minutes ago."

Fuji looked at him, "Oh, Inui was only enlightening us about your girlfriend. No wonder I couldn't find you at lunch today. That was stupid of me."

Maybe he imagined it, but Fuji thought he saw Tezuka's shoulders stiffen, "I change my mind, 50 laps."

"Tezuka! That's like, cruel and unusual punishment times a thousand, nya!"

* * *

"See, that's her, over there, in the bleachers." Inui pointed as they jogged along. 

Even from far away, Fuji could tell the girl was nothing less than stunning. Of course, for Tezuka…to expect less was nothing short of treason. He turned his focus back on the track, "She's pretty." Fuji said in what he sincerely hoped was a noncommittal tone.

"I forgot to tell you she models, not professionally, of course." Inui said nonchalantly. "But she doesn't like it; it's her mother who makes her."

"Oh." Now Fuji really wanted to ask how he knew, if only presented with the mere possibility of lording it over Tezuka's head, that he was dating a _model_, a profession that the captain had often expressed dislike for. Even if it was unprofessionally.

When they rejoined the regulars, Tezuka informed them that they would be playing a match on court C.

Glancing over at court C, Inui said, "Tezuka, there are already freshmen practicing on court C." The data specialist touched a hand to his glasses. "Five hours and 40 minutes, and you're already this out of it…it's amazing what the acquiring of a significant other can do to your head."

Tezuka opened his mouth, perhaps to order more laps, Fuji thought, but Tezuka ended up saying, "I meant Court B."

Fuji almost laughed, but found no voice, given any other day, Tezuka's slip might have been more amusing, but he merely nodded. Tezuka was still determined as ever not to look at him, it seemed.

"Oh, Court B." Inui, on the other hand, didn't try too hard to hide his amusement, once he was sure the danger of more laps had passed, "I see, well, come on, Fuji."

Fuji followed him, with no small amount of…relief. The feeling could have been something else. But calling it relief was safe.

* * *

At the end of practice, Kazuki Yuya's stately descent from the bleachers to Tezuka's side was missed by no one. Fuji, standing by the water cooler with Echizen Ryoma was of no exception. He noted that they stood at arm's length, and perhaps if he tried to forget hard enough, they were not dating. 

"I heard that buchou's girlfriend is also kind of like a wall." Echizen studied the pair intently, "Mada mada dane."

"Really, now?" Fuji feigned amusement, "You seem to be well informed, Echizen."

"I try." The boy gave a noncommittal shrug of sorts. "…But at any rate, at least Kazuki-senpai won't embarrass buchou or anything."

Fuji was silent. He stared at his half empty cup—funny how he thought it half empty, on a normal day, it would have been half full. "Saa…as expected of Tezuka."

"…As expected of me?" Tezuka's voice cut into his thoughts.

"I meant it in a good way, of course." Fuji kept his gaze trained on the ground. He saw two pairs of shoes. "Now you have a girlfriend." He looked up, the girl had startlingly blue eyes, "I heard that your name was Kazuki."

"It is."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Fuji thought he saw Echizen smirking. He turned back to the couple. "Well, I'm Fuji Syusuke, I believe we haven't met."

"We haven't." Her voice was deeper than a woman's wont. "Still, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"…Same here." It was becoming hard for him to keep smiling. Any wider, than it would scream fake. Fuji took to inspecting his racket.

"…You're not walking home with us?" Tezuka wanted to know.

"No…I'm being picked up today." A lie, blatantly as he could manage, and Fuji knew Tezuka knew, Yumiko wasn't even in town. "It's all right, you two need alone time anyway."

Tezuka looked like he was contemplating a lecture. That Fuji embarrassed him to no end perhaps, "…All right then, I'll see you tomorrow, Fuji."

"Yeah, tomorrow."

He watched them go, suddenly wishing that he had gone with them. Fuji retreated next to Echizen, who handed him a fresh cup of water, which he took without knowing.

"Che," Echizen pulled at the bill of his cap, smirking still, "Two sides of the same wall, they deserve each other."


	2. Playing Fake

**wingless crimson presents**

--

**Title: **What Hurts the Most

**Category:** Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Oujisama (belongs to Konomi)

**Type: **Set Canon time (Sort of)

**Genres: **Romance/Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **feat. Tezuka Kunimitsu x Fuji Syusuke When Tezuka gets a girlfriend, Fuji wonders whether or not he has waited too long.

**N.O.T.E.S.**

I'm unable to stay away from writing Atobe x Fuji, so here's to them ). This chapter was really fun, please have a good read!

_-wingless (02-17-07)_

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**II**

**Playing Fake**

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* * *

Why a number he had never worked up the courage to call was speed dial five on his cell phone, Fuji would never know. His father's phone was one, Yuuta's two, Yumiko's three, Tezuka's four, Atobe Keigo's…five.

Of course, now that he thought about it, Fuji supposed it made sense, he had never called Tezuka's phone either. Never needed to, at school, genius or not, he always managed to say a word too many in Tezuka's presence.

_Atobe, I don't know why I'm calling you but…_

"Hello?"

Fuji sighed and lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "…Hello, is this Atobe?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and then something like a snort, "No, it's Kabaji speaking, actually. Who's this?"

"…Atobe, it's um, Fuji," Fuji suddenly wished that he hadn't called, "From Seigaku. You gave me your number a few months ago…" He trailed off.

"…When I said I liked you, yes. I gave you my number, Fuji from Seigaku." If anything, Atobe sounded supremely amused. "I've been wondering if you would ever call."

"…Still mad at me, Atobe?" If Atobe was, Fuji realized he wasn't going to be too surprised, he only rejected Atobe's proposal in front of the whole Hyotei tennis club.

"No, not so much. I've got Jiroh now, remember?" Atobe's smirk could clearly be heard. "…But to think you would call me…why did you call me? Could it be that the Great Wall himself has rejected your feelings, after all this time?"

"How poetic of you." Fuji couldn't quite muster a laugh. "Don't call Tezuka a wall. Just because he was a wall to you doesn't mean he's always a wall."

"I suppose he is a softie in front of you. Shall I call him a statue instead then? A damn good-looking one, at that?" Atobe tried again.

Fuji bit his lip and said nothing.

"…Fuji?"

"I didn't tell him anything." Fuji closed his eyes, feeling the back of his eyes grow hot, "He rejected me anyway…I don't even know why I'm calling you."

"How can he--" Atobe cut off abruptly, "…Who is it? If you say that freshman brat, I'll die of laughter."

"How drastic. No, unfortunately, you can't die yet." Fuji reached for a nearby blanket, "I don't think Echizen swings that way, besides, I would have killed myself already, if it was him."

"How drastic _of you_." Atobe said wryly, "…Who is it then?"

"…Some girl, captain of the debate club, or so I've been informed." Fuji hoped his voice was calm. "Her name is Kazuki Yuya, and from my sources, she is an accomplished girl."

"…More accomplished than the genius himself? You seem to speak very highly of her." A pause, "…And how do you know _Tezuka_ swings that way? You don't seem the type to delude yourself."

"Don't mock me, Atobe, I'm not in the mood." Fuji almost snapped, but not quite, he had no strength left. "…Anyone can swing that way, if I try hard enough. Including you, I might add."

"_Moi_?" There was a sort of choking noise at the other end. "…For your information, it is Ore-sama's original philosophy that beauty can be found in anyone, regardless of gender. What do you have to do with it?"

"…I made you like me, didn't I?" Fuji asked. "As fond of one night stands as you may be, I wasn't just that whimsical to you, was I?"

It was Atobe's turn to be silent, after a long break, he said, "…Do you want me back?"

"I want _Tezuka_ back, Atobe." Fuji shot back, perhaps a bit too sharply.

"You've never had him." Atobe said calmly. "I'm sure there are times where you came close, Fuji, but you can't have everything. This is coming from me, so you've better believe it."

Fuji laughed then, but it was bitter laugh, "Of course, if the Great Narcissist himself succumbs to such a fate, then I suppose I better. Sometimes I wish I did want you. Things would be so much simpler…things would be, I don't know, not so screwed up, maybe."

"Of course I have to succumb to it." Atobe scoffed, "But it's nice to know your alter ego would most definitely be in love with me."

Fuji thought about snapping at him, but he just sighed. "It's all my fault too…I told him to tell the person that he liked how he felt. That he wouldn't regret it…I really thought it was _me_." He wiped a hand across his eyes, not at all surprised that the back of his hand was damp. "I'm such an idiot."

"Maybe it was you." Atobe offered blandly. "But he's a wall, so he finds it easier to show emotion towards individuals less complex than you. He doesn't know how to tell you. So maybe he's dating another person to get your attention."

"Like you with Jiroh?"

"Sort of, it worked, didn't it? You called me."

"Tezuka wouldn't do that to me." Fuji sat up again, indignant, "He is nowhere as egotistic and rude as you are. He wouldn't do that." He wiped his eyes again, his hand was damper the second time. "I'm so _fucked_."

"Fuji, can I come over?"

Fuji let out a long breath he wasn't aware of holding, "Yes...please."

* * *

"Atobe." Fuji stared down at his giant bowl of mollusks, with an expression of delicate distaste. "…I'm already miserable; having an upset stomach to top it off would be just grand."

Atobe raised an eyebrow, "Mollusk stew is very good, the trademark of this oyster saloon. Try it."

"This is not making me feel any better." Fuji picked up his fork and twiddled it between his fingers. "Does Jiroh know about this?"

"Yeah, I told him." Atobe said noncommittally. "He was all right with it."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you were depressed and needed cheering up. Something that only a person of my standing could administer." Atobe paused to take a sip of mineral water. "That's true enough, isn't it?"

"Poor Jiroh."

Atobe picked up a mollusk with his own fork and inserted it most inconspicuously into his mouth, "Don't worry; he was half asleep when I told him."

"What a caring boyfriend you are." Fuji shook his head. "…Does Hyotei have a debate club?"

"…Yes, of course it does." Atobe eyed him strangely, "Why?"

"Is the captain of the debate club a girl?"

Atobe's eyes widened in understanding, he dropped his fork, "Yes, it is, you twisted, perverted bastard. Don't do what I'm thinking you're about to do. That's just sick."

"I have to." Fuji didn't meet his gaze. "This is Tezuka's game, he is playing fake with me. So I have to play along. What is she like?"

Atobe made a face. "I still think that's disgusting. And you know, Ore-sama doesn't think that often."

"_Answer_ me."

"I don't know her well." Atobe sighed in defeat, "But…from what sources tell me, Asahi Kira is a senior, and a self-declared nerd of sorts. And she is…shall I say, most fortunately single? On your part at least."

"…Does she look like a nerd though? Tezuka's girlfriend models." Fuji pressed him. "I can't have mine looking like a freak."

Atobe's features paused, and they finally settled uneasily on an expression of mild disbelief. "...Tezuka's girlfriend _models_? And…Fuji, what just came out of your mouth only succeeded in further disgusting me."

"Forgive me." But Fuji was sure that he didn't sound the least bit sorry. "But is she?"

"Oshitari has complimented her on her legs on occasion. That should be enough for you." Atobe smirked, though it had a strange edge to it.

"Oshitari is a pervert and a copycat." Fuji made a face.

"At the moment, I think you're more of a pervert than him." The smirk slid promptly off the carefully constructed visage, convincing Fuji that Atobe meant what he said.

"I don't have choice. I will play fake if it makes him happy. I'll do anything to make Tezuka happy." Fuji stared down at the silken tablecloth. "But, Atobe, you will help me right?"

"Tell you what, tomorrow, after tennis practice, Jiroh and I and you and Asahi will go on a double date. I'll even announce it in Tezuka's face myself. But that really doesn't stop me from feeling revolted" Atobe said.

"Just for that, I'll try a mollusk for you." Fuji was at last able to smile again, although it was painful beyond anything.

* * *

"Ne, Eiji, I know it's my turn to supervise the freshmen, but could you do me a favor and watch them today?" Fuji kept his voice soft, since he knew the more confidential he made the matter seem, the more inclined Kikumaru Eiji would be to tell people.

"Sure, nya." Eiji said, "Why? Are you going somewhere?"

"Well…" Fuji dragged out the word carefully, "I have a date. Right after practice. With Atobe and Jiroh."

"_You have a date with Atobe and Jiroh? Like…a **threesome**??_" But then again, Eiji could be a bit too enthusiastic, even though Fuji had to admit, the sentence came out wrong. But it worked; everyone was staring at them now, Tezuka included.

"Shh, Eiji, not so loud." Fuji admonished him half-heartedly, "No, not a threesome, my girlfriend's going to be there too." The words tasted like acid on his tongue, how he managed to smile while saying it, he would never know.

"What?? You have a girlfriend too?" Eiji looked like Christmas had come early, "First Tezuka and now you…and you're dating someone from Hyotei?"

"You know, Kikumaru, you needn't look so surprised, there was a 75 percent chance of that happening. Didn't I already tell you that?" Inui sounded amused. When Inui sounded amused, many quaked.

"You did? Well, I forgot, sorry." Kikumaru gave a lopsided grin.

Kazuki Yuya made her now ritualistic descent to Tezuka's side. Fuji watched her carefully out of the corner of his eye. Beautiful girl, Tezuka Kunimitsu's girlfriend. He hated her more than ever.

"Hey, Tezuka." With leaden steps, Fuji approached the pair.

"Yes?" Tezuka looked at him. Kazuki did too. But Fuji made it a point to not look at her.

"See? I told you. Telling someone, isn't that painful." Fuji said, "I told someone too. And now we both have girlfriends that are both captains of the debate club. Life's good again." A lie. And by the look in Tezuka's eyes, the captain knew it too.

"Fuji-san! Come on!" A girl ran up to him, breaking the tangible apprehension between genius and wall. "Atobe's waiting for us, he's going to get pissed if we don't come soon."

Asahi Kira. Fuji's girlfriend. A girl he had never met until now. It was a tear-worthy thought, Fuji looked at Tezuka again.

_See what I've become? _

But obviously Atobe had done some groundwork, because she was acting as if she knew him. Fuji mustered a faint smile. "…Oh, okay. Come on then." He took her hand, and the first thing that came to mind was that their hands didn't fit.

"Nya, Fuji, your girlfriend's pretty too! And now I want one!" Eiji crossed his arms and gave a childish pout.

Asahi smiled a vague smile.

"You will, Eiji, just give it some time." Fuji said, laughing, because if he didn't, he was sure he was going to start tearing up, "Well then, Tezuka…"

Tezuka took Kazuki's hand, mirroring Fuji's own movement. He almost smiled, though Fuji was sure no one else could tell. And his eyes told a different story. "…Have fun."

Fuji's smile slipped, but he turned away before Tezuka could see. Playing fake was more painful than he thought.

* * *

"I trust you two have met." Atobe was at the wheel, "But in case you haven't, allow me. Asahi, this is Fuji, and vice versa." He turned to poke the sleeping Jiroh, "Fuji's here, don't you want to say hello?"

"Hi, Fuji." Jiroh rubbed his eyes, "I'm really sleepy right now. Atobe said he'd take us out for ice cream."

Jiroh always made him laugh, but today, Fuji couldn't muster a single chuckle. "Atobe, don't act like this is a game."

"But it is." Atobe returned airily, "You said so yourself yesterday."

Fuji sighed, and turned to the girl, who was gazing intently at him, "…So, um." The whole situation was suddenly awkward, "I suppose…thank you for earlier. You're probably not used to dating strangers…" He trailed off.

"You're not either." Asahi said calmly.

"…No, I guess I'm not." Fuji shook his head. "I'm usually not so terrible, Asahi. But I won't ask you to believe that. Because I'm still all around a terrible person."

"…Well, that's great way to start a date, Fuji." Atobe smirked as he pulled away from the curb, "Telling your girlfriend that you're a terrible person. No wonder Tezuka's scared of you."

"Shut up, Atobe. Tezuka knows I'm a terrible person." Fuji said.

Asahi touched his arm, "…Fuji-san, if you really were my boyfriend, and you cared about me, I couldn't care less if you really considered yourself a terrible person."

"But you're not. And I shouldn't be doing this." Fuji turned to the window.

Asahi dropped her hand, "But you are. Because you care about this Tezuka person. You are willing to do anything for him, even pretend something so extreme." She smiled, "I envy you for that, Fuji-san."

* * *

"Atobe, I'm miserable and I hate you." Fuji watched his house come slowly into view. "I hate you so much right now."

The car rolled to a gentle halt. Atobe didn't look at him, "You're a hard person to make happy, Fuji."

"Tezuka would make me happy."

"It is not in Ore-sama's power to gift-wrap Tezuka and give it to you for Christmas." Atobe laughed, "I wish I could, but I can't. Why do you hate me?"

"Because you told her everything! And now Asahi thinks I'm this lovesick pathetic…person. Why did you tell her everything?"

"I don't know. I just did. It just worked out that way. It was much easier to do things if she knew." Atobe didn't sound angry, just ever so slightly forlorn if Fuji listened hard enough, "She doesn't think you're pathetic, she envied you for wanting to go the extra mile for Tezuka." He smirked, "I know you're a sadist, but this is a bit overboard."

Fuji opened his mouth and then closed it again, he ran a finger along the windowpane. "I shouldn't snap at you. You're going the extra mile for me too." He smiled, "But you're happy with Jiroh, I can tell."

"I am." Atobe agreed, "Because he actually makes some sense to me…you don't make sense at all. I get tired." He started up the car once more, "…Good night."

Fuji stepped out of the car and waved until Atobe disappeared around the corner.


	3. First

**wingless crimson presents**

--

**Title: **What Hurts the Most

**Category:** Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Oujisama (belongs to Konomi)

**Type: **Set Canon time (Sort of)

**Genres: **Romance/Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **feat. Tezuka Kunimitsu x Fuji Syusuke When Tezuka gets a girlfriend, Fuji wonders whether or not he has waited too long.

**N.O.T.E.S.**

Fate has been really kind to me lately, I haven't had one bit of trouble of writer's block with this story yet! (Famous last words, I'm sure) But this is seriously my favorite story out of the three I have on right now. This chapter was fun to write, I seriously hope that Asahi isn't Sueish, that was one reason I wrote this story, to see how much control OCs I have. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and enjoy!

-_wingless (2-21-07)_

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**III**

**First **

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* * *

Asahi was waiting at the corner of the Hyotei tennis courts like she said she would, and she wore a bright smile that only succeeded in reminding Fuji that she wasn't Tezuka. "Hello, Fuji-san. Thanks for coming all this way." 

Fuji nodded, "It was no trouble, you're my…girlfriend after all." That sentence was only said for the freshmen loitering nearby. It felt like he had swallowed arsenic poison.

She took his hand loosely in hers, but only after her eyes sought his for permission. "Everyone is so surprised I have finally found someone." Asahi said lightly, "I was voted 'Most Likely to Stay Single' in the yearbook."

"Why is that?" Fuji was genuinely curious, although his mood had not changed.

"Everyone says my expectations in a boy are too high." Asahi shrugged, "But I think you meet the standards nicely." She tugged at his hand, "…Come on now, before Atobe comes out here and makes a scene."

Fuji mustered a faint laugh at that. "Did he make a scene?"

She gave him a pointed look, "Today in Physics he did, even the teacher looked shocked."

"Everyone's just shocked because I'm going with someone in Hyotei." Fuji shrugged and they began to walk together towards the school gates and out of earshot. "…I don't think anyone quite really forgave and forgot the tennis tournament."

"…Oh." Her eyes softened a bit, "Well…I was there. Atobe shouldn't have done that."

"…I hated him for weeks and months afterwards." Fuji commented lightly, "I think I even tried to slip him some arsenic poison in chocolate once, but I think I'm pretty much over it now."

Asahi gave him an off glance and stopped, "…Atobe really likes you, more than he does Jiroh-san." She said softly.

Fuji too, stopped, caught off guard by this sudden statement, it wasn't news, but coming from her… "I know he does. But he's happy with Jiroh, all I ever do is depress him to no end."

"Has it ever occurred to you that Atobe _likes_ being depressed? Especially if it's _your_ problems that he's burdened with…" Asahi trailed off and then promptly shook herself.

"Atobe knows I like Tezuka. I see Atobe as only a friend, Asahi. Atobe knows all of this, we've talked." Fuji looked at her, the obvious slowly dawning on him, but he couldn't be exactly sure unless he asked, "…But that aside, tell me something, Asahi. You seem to be the levelheaded type of girl. I'm anything but levelheaded…why are you doing this for me? You don't even know me."

She started walking again, pulling him along with her, and then suddenly dropping his hand, "Have you ever seen Atobe at school? It's scary how in-your-face he acts…but I supposed that he is liked for that very reason. When he talks about you, he is human. Genuinely human."

Fuji wasn't sure how to react, so he just nodded, "…And how do you know all of this? He's not in the debate club, is he?"

"Yes, he is actually. Is it surprising?"

Fuji paused a moment to consider, "…No, not really. It's just, he talked about you as if he doesn't know you, as if you guys weren't friends. That's what's surprising." He wasn't sure if that gave it away.

Asahi laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "Do you want to say it or do you want me to? Because it's true. Atobe told me you weren't to be underestimated, I can see why."

"…Why _Atobe_?" Is all Fuji could coherently manage. Hearing it was still a shock, "…Why do you of all people…?"

She shrugged, "A lot of levelheaded people, as you so kindly put it, like Atobe. I am most unfortunately included. Why? I don't know. If you act like you're God long enough, people can believe it."

"But then…if you like Atobe, you should hate me." Fuji didn't understand.

"I hated you two days ago when he told me." Asahi replied, not looking at him, "I thought, 'why would Atobe's emotions go towards someone who would just waste them? He can have anyone he wants to.' Rest assured, Fuji-san, I hated you."

Fuji smiled faintly. "But now?"

"I understand why he likes you, I told you before. You are wholeheartedly giving your entire self to Tezuka. You don't waver at all, when it comes to Atobe. Even though Tezuka is going out with someone else now, you still have the nerve to like him so much to do something…so…" She shook her head, "…I'm sorry, but the only word I have is ridiculous, for him. Now I just admire you and wish that I can be more like you."

"Ridiculous? Yes, I suppose so." Fuji agreed.

"…And if you get to be with Tezuka after this, Atobe will be happy for you, because he has helped you with something." Asahi smiled, "For me, it would be the same thing. In helping you, I get to see Atobe happy. Even though he probably won't give me the time of the day after this"

Fuji looked at her, "I see." He said.

"I have answered your questions, Fuji-san. If you'll just indulge me with one of my own. Why are you persistent? The fact that Tezuka is going out with someone else means that he doesn't like you."

He stopped and looked up at the sky. "Atobe used to ask me the same thing 'Fuji, why the hell are you in love with a wall that's almost otherwise incapable of speech?'" He started walking again. "Because I make it my business to know everything that is anything about the person I love. Even when Tezuka doesn't talk, I can tell what he is thinking. Mind you, it took me years. Ever since the beginning of junior high, I have been like that."

"You _are_ persistent."

"Yes, I am. It's a weakness. I have never loved anyone else. And I don't think I ever will." Fuji admitted. "And if he won't love me, at least…I want to let him know that I love him. And that a little part of him can be mine."

"…I thought Atobe was persistent." Asahi said again.

Fuji smiled, "Think again, Asahi."

* * *

"Saa…Tezuka, it's your two week anniversary, and you're here eating lunch all _alone_? Where's your girlfriend?" Fuji slid into the seat beside Tezuka, who was studying a textbook of some sort, although his eyes often strayed to the direction of the courts. 

"…It's our two week anniversary?" Tezuka said, turning to him. "You've been keeping track?"

"Of course I have. So that I can tease you about it." Fuji smiled and took to unwrapping his own lunch. "So where is she?"

"Debate club meeting. Every Tuesday."

"Why don't you join the debate club?" It was a valid question, one Fuji asked with a straight face.

Tezuka shot him a mildly incredulous look, but replied, "…I don't think I'd be any good at it."

Fuji laughed, "So how are things with the two of you?"

"All right."

"…All right? That's it? That's all you can say?" Fuji shook his head, "Try something like 'These two weeks I felt like I was in heaven'…or something. But geez, Tezuka, just all right?"

"It was fine. I just walk her to the bus stop and then I walk home." Tezuka turned to look at him, away from his book. "How have you been getting home?"

"…I walk." Fuji's smile faded a little but he hitched it right back. "But stop avoiding the subject, have you and Kazuki even kissed yet?"

Tezuka more or less spat out a mouthful of water but managed to wipe off the table in a dignified manner. "…Well…"

"Come now, you're boyfriend and girlfriend, it's not like it's anything shameful, have you?"

"…No. Have you?"

"No."

"Then why are you lecturing me?"

"I'm not lecturing, goodness." Fuji shook his head, "I'm just wondering, I haven't seen you or talked to you for such a long time now, I'm just trying to catch up with things."

"You've seen me at tennis practice." Tezuka pointed out.

"Yes, but on the courts you're not human. You're like this…I don't know, robot machine thing, set on overachiever mode." Fuji stared down at his lunch tin and picked up an eggroll. "If any of us try to get a word in edgewise that's not tennis related..." He trailed off meaningfully.

"I am not." Tezuka sounded slightly miffed.

"Yes you are." Fuji bit into the eggroll and set it down. "Are you nervous about kissing her?"

"I'm nervous about…kissing anyone." Tezuka said, after a long, long pause. "Considering that it's something I've never done."

"Oh, how cute. You have trouble saying the word kissing. You're so proper Tezuka." Fuji reached out a hand to touch him, perhaps to a cheek, but then thought better of it. "…Would you be nervous about kissing me?" He asked, before he lost the nerve to ask.

Tezuka stared at him. "Yes. I would."

Fuji scooted a bit closer to him, so that their knees touched. "I haven't kissed anybody either. Just the same as you."

"…Really?"

"Really."

And Tezuka kissed him, holding him a bit too tightly by the shoulders. His lips were trembling, or maybe Fuji's own mouth was numb.

Tezuka pulled away from him.

Fuji wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh. If he would never have the chance to kiss Tezuka Kunimitsu ever again, at least, he had his first kiss, their first kiss.

"…That wasn't so bad was it, Tezuka?"

He thought he saw the ghost of a smile grace the other's lips. "No, not really."

* * *

"You _kissed_ him?" Atobe sounded shocked. "And you told him it was your _first_ kiss? And I thought ore-sama was shameless." 

"You are shameless." Fuji stared at the receiver beside him on the bed, "It was my first kiss. I'm not like you, you know, kissing anyone who'd let you."

"…Hey, I was only kidding when I said that." Atobe's voice sounded slightly hurt, "You don't really think that lowly of me, do you, Fuji?"

"Sometimes I do. But not all the time." Fuji said lightly.

"…Ore-sama is very, very disappointed in you."

"Ore-sama should be. Fuji feels miserable." Fuji rolled over on his side, "I don't know what to do now…tell me what I'm supposed to do, Atobe."

"Get some sleep, try to kiss him again tomorrow." Atobe suggested.

"You're nasty. I hope you didn't mean that."

"…Go to sleep, I'm hanging up."


	4. Realizations

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**wingless crimson presents**

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**Title: **What Hurts the Most

**Category:** Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Oujisama (belongs to Konomi)

**Type: **Set Canon time (Sort of)

**Genres: **Romance/Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **feat. Tezuka Kunimitsu x Fuji Syusuke When Tezuka gets a girlfriend, Fuji wonders whether or not he has waited too long.

**N.O.T.E.S.**

Yes! My first finished story! Thank you so much for your support, and hopefully the ending wasn't too bad...usually, if I even finish.

_-wingless (02-24-07)_

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**IV**

**Realizations**

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* * *

Honestly enough, Fuji didn't know what to expect. Perhaps the minute he set foot in Seishun Gakuen, everyone would turn to stare because they knew. They knew that he had kissed Tezuka, while the said person had a significant. And then he would never hold his head up again. 

"What are you doing, Fuji?"

Fuji jerked his head up to face the ever unchanging gaze of Tezuka. He swallowed hard. "…Deciding whether or not to skip school." He replied quietly, looking at his lap. "What are you doing?"

Maybe it was just his imagination running away with him, but Fuji thought Tezuka's eyes changed, laughing at him. He didn't dare believe, he slid his eyes away again.

"I was looking for you, we have early practice today, if you skip that I will skin you alive." But the carefully measured tone unveiled nothing. "Inui thought you might be here."

"…And you didn't think so?" Tezuka's threat almost made him want to laugh. He just wasn't any good at threatening people, except when it came to laps, maybe.

"What?"

"You didn't think I'd be here?" Fuji got to his feet, "We always met here after school when we walked home together and stuff."

"I remember."

Where was the Tezuka Kunimitsu that consented to kissing him in broad daylight? Why was this silent statue in his place? Fuji got to his feet and slung his tennis bag over his shoulder. "Tezuka, I--"

"Kunimitsu."

It wasn't a voice Fuji often heard, but he knew it, and hated it. He turned with Tezuka to see Kazuki standing there, with an expression of unabashed disgust. "Inui-san was wondering what was keeping you."

Fuji looked at Tezuka, his expression didn't soften at all, the way one would expect, he wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. "I've only been gone five minutes, Kazuki."

"Ten minutes." She said, with a pointed glance at her watch and then at Fuji.

Tezuka opened his mouth as if to argue, but closed it quickly as an afterthought. "You'll be coming to practice, Fuji?"

"…Yeah," Fuji mustered a smile, something he seemed to doing quite often these days, "Sure, I wouldn't want you to skin me."

Tezuka gave him an off look, "I was only joking."

"With that face of yours, I can't tell half of the time." Fuji countered breezily. "But you better get going now before Kazuki skins _you_. I'll be just a minute, okay?"

"That'd be 30 laps around the courts." Tezuka stood still, "When you come."

"Saa…you're mean."

"I am not."

"Yes you are, but I deserve it. Run along." Fuji smiled and gave him a light push towards Kazuki's direction.

"40 laps." But Tezuka let himself be pushed, only for half a step.

"Fine…" Fuji sighed, as he watched the two of them walk away, Kazuki's hand possessively on Tezuka's arm. It almost amused him as much as it made him want to weep.

* * *

In the halls, there was silence, at least, regarding the fact that Tezuka Kunimitsu and Fuji Syusuke kissed during lunch yesterday. No matter how hard Fuji listened and how much junk he absorbed by just listening (No less than 17 girls wanted to ask Eiji out, for example), there was nothing. 

He was more or less able to breathe when he slid into his seat next to Inui in Chemistry. "Hey."

"How come you were late to practice, Fuji?" Inui asked, in obviously what he hoped was an offhanded tone. And Fuji wanted nothing more than to inform him that it certainly wasn't.

"I had stuff to take care of. Tezuka knows. Why did you send Kazuki after us?"

Inui paused in flipping through his textbook, he looked up, "I never sent her, no one realized that she was gone until she came back."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"…Oh, no reason." It was getting to be a chore, keeping his voice light, "She just said you did."

Inui didn't reply, his only visible reaction was to make a quick scribble in his notebook. "…I see." He said, after a long pause, "My theory was right, then. She's getting as possessive as hell."

"What a scientific deduction." Fuji had to admit though; such a statement was backed by solid evidence. At least, from what he had had the misfortune to see thus far.

"It was just a theory, Fuji, not anything official. But she even sits in meetings with Oishi and Tezuka and Ryuzaki-sensei…it's getting a bit ridiculous." Inui touched his hand to his glasses. "I don't know why she's even allowed."

"Perhaps because she doesn't try to use what she learned during those meetings to torture people?" Fuji laughed, "Unlike some people I might mention."

"You're only 5 percent more sadistic than me, I wouldn't be talking." Inui answered stiffily.

"In what way am I 5 percent more sadistic than you? I don't concoct juices to make everyone die an early death." Fuji was amused. This conversation was a nice distraction about what was really on his mind.

"It doesn't kill you, apparently, why should you care?"

"Because if our teammate keel over we can't compete." Fuji said with a vague smile. "And on top of all that, Tezuka would kill you running laps, he's not affected by your juices either."

"See? Answers like that make up for my making juices."

Fuji blinked, "Honestly, I don't see how."

There was a sharp tapping of a ruler against chalkboard. Fuji turned quickly back to the front of the room. The first thing he saw was not the monstrous equation printed on the board. But something far worse.

It was Kazuki.

"Matsui-sensei? May I please see Fuji Syusuke outside for a minute? His mother called and it's quite urgent."

The teacher looked at Fuji, "…Make sure you get the notes from Inui-kun, Fuji-kun. Go ahead, and try not to take too long."

"Sure, thank you, sensei." Fuji got to his feet and walked with leaden steps after Tezuka's girlfriend out the door. Kazuki was a bad liar, he could tell by just a second of a glance.

* * *

"You heard the teacher, Kazuki." Fuji started, as the two of them stood out in the empty corridor, "I can't be gone long." 

"No?" Her voice was feathery to the point of Fuji wanting to throw up, "Well then, I promise I won't take long, Fuji-san, in fact, I'll get right to the point, why won't you leave Kunimitsu alone?"

"I do leave Tezuka alone." Fuji replied calmly. He made a mental note to tell Inui that his theory was indeed proven with that one statement. In the past two weeks, Fuji had gone out of his way to avoid Tezuka.

"Why does he always talk about you while he's with me? Are you so important to him?" She demanded, as if he hadn't spoken.

"We grew up together." Tezuka talked about him? Even thought about him? Fuji's heart swelled anew, but his kept the same faint smile. "He knows me very well, as I do him. It doesn't mean anything." He was thankful that practiced lying in front of the mirror.

"Then why does he never shut up about you? Every time it's Fuji this Fuji that…what the hell are you to him?!"

"A friend." Friends could be lovers, if they tried hard enough, most people didn't bother.

"The day that your girlfriend came for you…" Kazuki shook her head, "Kunimitsu was…" She broke off, wringing her hands, "I'm his girlfriend! Why the hell is my boyfriend in love with you?"

"Does Tezuka know you curse like this?" Fuji asked blandly.

Her hand came up, but he caught her wrist swiftly and forced it back to her side. "Fuji-san, you're a cruel person, I know why you're a sadist now. I love him, I love Kunimitsu more than anything else in this world."

"_I love Tezuka more than anything in this world, Atobe." _

It was painful hearing it, Fuji wondered how Atobe managed. He looked at her, "He must love you, he's going out with you." He had to restrain himself not to spit those words.

"If he loved me he wouldn't talk about you all the time." She sounded hysterical, she was nothing like Asahi, Kazuki made Asahi look like a complete saint. "If Kunimitsu loved me he would join the debate club."

"He wouldn't be any good at it." Fuji said, trying not to laugh.

"That's what he said, did he tell you?" Kazuki glared at him, "Of course he does, how silly of me. He loved you, that's why he…" She crumpled, and turned from him, "I've loved Kunimitsu ever since I set eyes on him last year…and, when he asked me to become his girlfriend I was…"

_So did I, I fell for him the minute I set eyes on him, but I've set my eyes on him for no less than six years. _Fuji wanted to laugh only because it was too ironic.

"He said he was trying to forget someone. Because that someone would never return his feelings. That the person would never take him seriously. He asked if that was all right with me." Kazuki paused, wiping at her eyes, "Of course I said yes, I was stupid enough to tell him that I would make him forget whoever it was…you."

"Tezuka doesn't love me." Fuji said, hoping it wasn't true.

"If he loved me instead he wouldn't have kissed you, Fuji-san."

Fuji looked like she had really slapped him good and hard across the face. "You…you know…" For once, words failed him.

"Yes, I know. Kunimitsu can't lie for shit." She spat bitterly. "Stay away from him, Fuji-san, I'm begging you. Let someone who actually wants to love him love him." She looked at him, pleading, "I'm _begging_ you, Fuji-san."

* * *

"Hoi, Tezuka, where's your girlfriend?" Eiji made quite a show of looking around the whole courts after discovering that Tezuka stood alone on the sidelines. 

"I don't have one anymore."

"You **_don't_**?" Chorused almost everyone present.

Fuji put down his water bottle, still unable to decide if he should be happy or not.

Tezuka walked over to him, "It's not your turn to supervise cleanup today, right, Fuji?"

"No, I mean, it's not my turn." Fuji stood up.

"Want to walk home?"

"…Sure."

* * *

They stood together outside of the gates of Seishun Gakuen for the longest time. 

Fuji started, just because he knew Tezuka would never say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised to hear Tezuka's voice speaking when he opened his mouth. He never realized how much he missed all of this, walking home with Tezuka.

"Did she tell you everything?"

"Almost." Fuji stopped in his tracks and reached out to grab Tezuka by the arm. "Tezuka, look at me when you speak. It's polite." He paused, "…And yes, I think she did tell me everything." He kept his hand on Tezuka's arm, wondering if Tezuka would shake him off.

Tezuka didn't, but turned and faced him. "I broke up with her. I had to."

"I just…never realized you could talk so much." Fuji smiled. "Kazuki made you out to be a very talkative person." He grew quiet and moved his hand from Tezuka's arm to his chest, barely touching. "…Why didn't you…think I was going to take you seriously?"

Tezuka stiffened a little when he moved his hand, but stayed still. "Because of how you talked. I could never be sure."

"I thought you knew me better." Fuji dropped his hand.

Tezuka looked at his hand. "And I thought you knew _me_ better. But you have a girlfriend now too…we shouldn't…"

"My girlfriend served the same purpose yours did, Tezuka, the first time you saw Asahi was the first time I saw Asahi." Fuji shook his head, "How terrible we both are." He looked down, "I still can't believe you thought I wouldn't take you seriously…I've been taking you seriously for six years."

Tezuka reached out and took Fuji's hand, and the way he held it made Fuji think of a tennis racket, typical Tezuka. "You have?"

Fuji nodded, "Yes, I have." He closed his eyes. "We're terrible people." He said again, because there was nothing else to say.

"No, just desperate people." Tezuka corrected him. "At least I was, you can be terrible if you want to be…Syusuke."

"Fine, I'm desperate, then." Fuji smiled. "Desperately happy." Corny but true. "Kunimitsu." He laughed, "I've been wanting to say that ever since I heard Kazuki say it. I keep telling myself that I can say it better."

"You do."

"Thank you."

The ghost of a smile flickered across Tezuka's lips, "Let's go home."

"All right."

* * *

-Fin-

* * *


End file.
